This Will Change the Way You Think About Rejection Forever

Have you heard it recently: the dreaded NO! Unmet expectations gone awry.

A dear friend stops talking to you. He’s leaving you. You’re denied the loan. The publisher declines your book. Your ex just remarried. A family member cuts you off. You didn’t get the job, or you got fired. The list goes on. Rejection. It happens to us all, yet for so many it is so hard to deal with.

In the last week alone, I’ve been rejected a handful of times. But none of it affected me. In fact, I each time I found myself saying, “I’m so glad that opportunity didn’t pan out.” Because when rejection happens it is actually the Universe bringing us closer to what is best for us.

When you can step back and trust that everything in your life is part of a bigger plan, you see that rejection is actual protection.

Thirty literary agents rejected me before I landed my contract for my next book. Forty publishers turned down the book itself. But I didn’t let that stop me because I knew the right publisher would want it, and four bestselling books later, I am glad I didn’t give up.  

I could have allowed the rejection letters to wound my ego, I could have said “I’m not cut out for this, I mine as well give up.” Or I could see everything has its time and place. Chose the latter.

The happiest and healthiest people in the world take rejection with a grain of salt. Here are some examples:

Oprah Winfrey was fired as an evening news reporter at Baltimore’s WJZ-TV because she couldn’t separate her emotions from her stories.

At the start of Marilyn Monroe’s modeling and acting career, she was told she should consider becoming a secretary.

Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

After a performance in Nashville early in Elvis Presley’s career, a manager told him he was better off driving trucks in Memphis (his previous job).

Rejection is not rejection. You can learn to handle rejection with super grace and ease, remain unphased, ego still intact, and onward you go, confidently forward.

If rejection is getting you down, these three simple truth can help you bonce back asap.

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Nothing Really Changes
As Jack Canfield says in The Success Principles, “Nothing ever changes when you are rejected.”  Think about it: if Harvard turns you down, you’ve spent your whole life not going to Harvard. You know how to handle that. The guy doesn’t call you back, the boss rejects your proposal, etc. It’s the expectation that get us wound up. You can handle rejection with a lot more grace by releasing your expectations of the outcome. And when you hear a “No,” know that nothing really changes in your life.

Rejection Is Protection
Every time I hear a “No,” I remind myself I am being protected. A plan greater than yours is in place. The universe is aligning you to what is best for you. You may have thought that job was the perfect fit, but not getting it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Your future self will guide you. How many times have you been rejected and totally bummed out, only to soon see something else fall into place. Time and time again this will happen it just requires patience and trust.

So trust the process and don’t take rejection personally. Instead, trust you are being protected.

It’s This or Something Better 
I repeat this powerful mantra, “It’s this or something better,” with every rejection letter or phone call. The real magic of living a full life is knowing the right thing at the right time is on its way to you. The perfect relationship, the right job, the money you want, it is all coming. So if you hear a few “nos” along your way to the “yes,” know the yes is worth it. Something better is coming to you soon.

Shannon Kaiser, a wellness writer, life coach, and speaker is the author of The Self Love Experiment.