Whether you’re struggling with a recent separation from a loved one, moving to a new town, or feeling disconnected from others for any other reason, far too many of us experience loneliness in a chronic way. In fact, recent findings from Health insurer Cigna’s 2018 U.S. Loneliness Index found that 46% of Americans report feeling lonely sometimes or always, 47% report feeling left out sometimes or always, 43% report feeling isolated from others, while 43% report feeling they lack companionship and their relationships lack meaning.
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A big part of the issue is that we’re not talking about it nearly enough, notes Lane Moore, author of How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t. “I wrote How to Be Alone, because I didn’t see my story reflected anywhere, and I think that there are so many people like me who didn’t have the perfect family growing up and now don’t have the perfect group of friends who they see all the time who understand them emotionally and are always there for them, and they haven’t had a lot of luck finding this perfect Jim Halpert guy,” she explains.
Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing only perfectly-curated glimpses into other people’s lives is only making matters worse. “With social media, we all have these ideas of how our lives are supposed to look, because everybody looks like they have everything we don’t have,” Moore notes. “And I feel like looking at that every single day makes us feel lonelier than we’ve ever felt before.”
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While there are various ways to address feeling alone, looking to astrology may prove helpful.. After all, given that your sun sign drives your life’s purpose and identity, following its lead can offer valuable insight into the tools and activities that can help you feel less alone. Here, what you can do to feel less alone, based on your sign.
As a fire sign ruled by Mars, the planet of action, you’re naturally competitive and athletic—or at least interested in be a spectator. For that reason, joining an adult sports league, hitting up a group fitness class, or attending a sports event can get your blood pumping, happiness-boosting endorphins flowing, and remind you that you’re part of a team.
As a grounded earth sign ruled by beauty-loving Venus, your appreciation for creature comforts and security is one of your most notable traits. Being a homebody is just a way of life for you, so incorporating elements into your sanctuary that offer a feeling of peacefulness and contentment, like a candle in a scent that reminds you of a happy time or place or photos that captured particularly warm memories.
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Given that your ruling planet is communicator Mercury, you crave intellectual stimulation. Try listening to a favorite or new podcast or investigating book reviews and making to-read lists then maybe actually diving into them. Getting the wheels turning in this way satiates your desire to learn and serve as a bridge to curious, creative voices who are loving and using language to connect.
As an innately maternal soul, as a water sign ruled by the moon, your instinct is to care for others. Nurturing comes naturally to you, so you’ll do well to lean into that when you’re feeling alone. Think caring for rescue pups at a shelter, babysitting, being a mentor or volunteering for a group like Big Brothers, Big Sisters.
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Ruled by the confident, upbeat sun, you adore all things romantic and theatrical. Consider expressing yourself in a creative way that taps into this passon, like trying your hand at writing a play, making a music video, throwing an impromptu dance party, or experimenting with makeup artistry. Basically, following your inner, playful child’s heart can serve as a quick mood-booster.
Your ruler Mercury makes you a natural born communicator, and it wouldn’t be surprising if you’ve used writing as a therapeutic outlet already. Consider writing in a journal or type up thoughts on your iPhone’s Notes apps, whatever feels right. But leaning into that love of language when you’re lonely can be especially beneficial for you, serving as a path for comforting self-discovery and exploration of your emotions.
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Ruled by romantic Venus, and symbolized by the Scales, you’re driven to seek balance in all areas of your life. To work through feelings of loneliness, consider creating an aesthetically appealing space in which you can practice mindfulness. Maybe this also looks like taking a candlelit bath and/or enjoying aromatherapy, which can feel calming and pampering. Either way, activities that make you feel centered go far for your mental and emotional wellness.
Scorpio has a rep for being deeply intuitive and intensely sexual, given that the water sign rules the eighth house of transformation, death, rebirth, and sex. For that reason, you might do well to explore your sensual side. Writing or reading erotic stories, enjoying sensuous pleasures like baking and eating your favorite decadent dessert, or giving yourself a sensual massage could elevate your mood and having you feeling pure joy.
As the ruler of the ninth house of adventure and higher learning, as well as an action-oriented fire sign, exploration is your lifeblood. You’ll do well to take a road trip, plan a vacation abroad, or dive into a travel show or book about a different culture. Learning and then taking concrete action that will offer the promise of learning even more can activate your joyful Jupitarian vibes.
Throwing yourself into your work is just your way of life, thanks to your ruling planet, taskmaster Saturn. But if you’re feeling isolated, you’ll do well to strive toward a feeling of groundness by getting out of the office and into nature. Spending time at your favorite public park, on a hiking trail, hitting the beach, or going for a simple run around your neighborhood can have you feeling more focused, positive, and centered.
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Forward-thinking, revolutionary Uranus rules your sign, and Aquarius rules the eleventh house of networking and groups, so you’re inclined to make a difference for the greater good. To feel more connected, consider researching ways you can give back and then diving in. Think volunteering with a local nonprofit organization, getting involved in a political campaign, or running an event to raise money for a charity.
Thanks to your ruling planet Neptune, which oversees all things mystical and rational thought-clouding, you’re spiritual, romantic, and artistic. Exploring these sides of yourself can be an effective way to address loneliness. Think expressing yourself creatively through your favorite art form, learning about reiki or crystals, reading Tarot, or practicing yoga. Exploring your emotions in creative and/or metaphysical ways can feel deeply gratifying and comforting at the same time.
Maressa Brown is a writer, editor, astrologer, and author of Centennial Presents’ 2018 Astrology Guide. Her work has appeared on/in various publications such as Cosmopolitan.com, The Washington Post, Parents.com, and Women’s Health.
Photo: @pascalkrumm via Twenty20